It's been a long time since I've posted here but I've been inspired to jot down some things. I may eventually go back and fill in some of the blanks regarding what's been going on lately but for now I just wanted to write about this.
Dating and parenting both have its unique set of challenges. As I've talked with people about their experiences and related some of them to my own, I've realized that they can both produce strong emotions and really make us think differently about things, including ourselves at times. And how we perceive ourselves can also have an impact on other aspects of our life, the things we do (or don't do), and the people we interact with.
For me, I've had some challenges this year feeling happy and being positive and I've found that when I spend time with others, they can feel that and it can start to bring them down as well if it's like that excessively.
I've been working on steps to try to be more happy, find peace, comfort, joy without it having to depend on another person because that can be unreliable. If my happiness requires another person, I'll be left depressed. I was married for 18 years and have 3 awesome daughters who live close and I see regularly but they don't live with me. The highlight of my week is spending time with them and I really love being a Dad. But when they're not with me, I enjoy finding and doing things that make me happy because I find that when I do, I'm more equipped to help others find happiness and that...THAT is one thing that brings me joy as well. Imparting a positive and optimistic outlook, or a funny story, or even a horrible story that's funny now, or a song, or a meme, just something, however small, to help someone feel better inside and maybe, just maybe, get them to crack a smile if they're up to it. If they're not up to it, then being a comfort, a listening ear or sounding board, some kind of support so they know they're not alone, they have someone to talk to if they want, someone who's willing to give them a hug (I'm a hugger), or hold their hand, caress their back, or just put an arm around them. It's amazing what you can learn from the character "Sadness" from watching the movie Inside Out. She was really able to comfort Bing Bong when Joy couldn't because she really understood and she let all of us know that it's ok to be sad sometimes. And that a good memory can also make us feel sad and miss things or people we used to have in our lives.
We also learn that we don't need to be happy all the time and sometimes it's important to have, feel, express, and process other emotions. They help us heal and also really appreciate more the other positive emotions when we have them. If we're happy ALL the time, it begins to lose it's value and meaning. It's one of the reasons I really enjoy days like today when it's raining and cloudy. It may seem depressing to some, but for me it's a nice change.
Do you feel you need to channel your emotions better? What would you like to see happen as a result of feeling sadness, or anger, or fear, or other emotions that are not inherently positive? I believe we are designed to feel them because they all serve a specific purpose for our benefit and / or the benefit of others. How would you like to view yourself? What are some things you really appreciate about yourself? You don't have to answer to me but perhaps just some questions to answer for yourself or to think about.
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